Goal-Setting: Architecting, Sustaining Motivation, & Achieving Goals
I’ll be honest. Most years I feel like my goal-setting process is annoyingly imperfect. It never feels fully buttoned up with a ribbon on top. It never ‘looks’ like the clear, compelling deliverable I want.
And yet, the process is always (I mean always) valuable.
I have been doing this reliably since 2007 when I first got ‘training’ in goal-setting as an employee at Lululemon. When I look back and read some of the goals I set, it’s amazing how many of them came to fruition. Even though they were not perfectly formatted or concisely articulated. I don’t think it’s an accident. The process alone is valuable.
Geek Out Over Goals
Most goal-setting frameworks leave you with a long and daunting list of goals. And a feeling that you must achieve them… your self-worth depends on it. If you find your inner dialogue to sound like aggressive “hustle talk”, it may scare you into ‘achieving the goal’ but sometimes it’s a sign the goal itself no longer is the right goal. Instead of self-flagellation, there is a different way.
My preferred approach is to think of goals like experiments. We put on our scientist hats, where the goal of an experiment isn’t to be RIGHT… It’s to collect data and learn. We’re just learning about ourselves and what can bring us closer to who we want to be. We don’t have a ‘death-grip’ on outcomes… just intention, curiosity, openness, and willingness to learn. 🤾🏻
Goals, re-defined. My definition is: “An experiment (specific, measurable, time-bound) that I create with a high likelihood to address my heart’s deepest wish (intention), move me away from suffering, and bring me closer to wellbeing.”
When you know and see yourself clearly and view goals as experiments, you can set authentic heart-led intentions, and from a calm, centered place you can creatively generate experiments. It requires you to get focused and clear on what’s most important.
Jen’s ‘CliffsNotes’ from Popular Experts
I read these books and listen to these podcasts, because I love this stuff. Some of this content has informed my own framework.
If you find yourself without time or motivation to explore the original sources, check out my main take-aways below!
✍️ Huberman Lab Podcast “How to Set and Achieve Your Goals”
Have only 1 priority goal to work on at a time (avoid the ‘overhaul approach’)
Pursue a lofty goal - shouldn’t be too easy. Should be slightly out of reach.
Goals should be specific, action-oriented, measureable, time-bound
Define the specific ‘Verb Actions’ required to achieve your goals
Example 1: If you want to be a better communicator, corresponding verb actions might be “read the book Nonviolent Communication by April 1.” or “write key bullet points to ensure I communicate clearly before big conversations with my boss 1 hour prior to our Friday 1:1”
Example 2: “I want to have healthier relationships.” Adding in verb actions to make goals that support these intentions… could look like “I will take and complete one of Terry Real’s relationship courses by March 1. (I do recommend these!)
Writing on on Paper is better than Typing
Write out goals regularly (if you write it on a post-it note and leave it there all year, it fades into the background. Keep it top-of-mind by writing it daily and putting the post-it in a new place every day).
For accountability, don’t “Tell the World.” Instead, share with someone that will checkin on you / the goal.
Intrinsic Motivation is the most important thing to cultivate… learn how to derive pleasure from the “effort process”
If you’re not feeling motivated about doing the verb actions required to achieve your goals, spend 1 minute visualizing failure (what would happen if you did not successfully complete the goal; fear-based motivation)
If you're feeling motivated about doing the verb actions required to achieve your goals, spend 1 minute visualizing success prior to doing your verb actions (see what it could look like if you did successfully complete the goal; positive effects/outcomes)
If you’re struggling with focus, try a visual target. Focus / narrow your visual attention on something for 1 minute approximately the same distance that you’d be performing that verb action. (ie. Focus on something 3 feet away at computer eye level, if it’s computer-based work you want to focus on).
If you’re tired or panicked, try expanding your visual focus (expand into peripheral vision - this activates your parasympathetic nervous system)
“Middle Problem” - it’s always hardest in the middle. Awareness of this can help you get through
Circadian Rhythm - your most alert/focused times are 3 times of the day: 30 minutes, 3 hours, and 11 hours after waking up - use these to your advantage, if/when you can
✍️ Atomic Habits by James Clear
The whole book is essentially an elaboration of these main concepts (below). Consider going through this quick list when putting new goals or habits into action:
make it obvious
make it attractive
make it easy
make it satisfying
But First, Start with Intention
Most goal-setting frameworks (and these resources I summarize above) start with goals. But I start with Intention.
I run Intention-Setting Workshops for this exact purpose. These events are focused on the precursor to goals, so that you know which goals to prioritize and formalize.
I see pain as our biggest motivator. It’s a signal we are ready to take action. Our most high-impact intentions are usually born when we ask ourselves “What causes me suffering?” Those are the intentions that impact our lives across multiple dimensions and roles… and they inform the goals / experiments that we are most hungry to achieve.
Intention, re-defined. My definition is: “a directive force or a deep stirring that can inform my choices, inspire and motivate me to act, if I name it and remember it.” Intentions answer the question: “What does my heart most desire?”
To set more heartfelt intentions and uncover supportive goals that you are stoked about pursuing… I can help. Subscribe to my newsletter or explore my coaching services for more information on how!
